International dating obviously come with its own set of problems: Crossing cultures can be fun, but it can also lead to misunderstandings that bring headaches you wouldn’t experience in a relationship somebody from your own country.
Most long-termers in Japan get to learn the idiosyncrasies of their partners, and the issues that cause problems when dating simply because of national culture.
The blog What Japan Thinks has a survey that explains one of the problems Japanese girls may face with their boyfriends: Trying to keep certain things secret, even after sex and long after the first date. In a survey, Japanese girls were asked what they would like to keep their boyfriends from seeing and knowing, men were asked the same.
All Japanese girls surveyed said they wanted to keep their boyfriends from seeing their underwear, while 73 percent wished to prevent boyfriends from seeing their old photos. Making up the top five desired secrets were internet search history, diaries and bank balance. Perhaps showing the “kawaii” (cute) side of Japanese girls, 15.6 percent said they wanted to keep secret from their boyfriends the love letters they had written but not had the courage to give to their lovers.
For Japanese men, computer data is the thing they most worry about their girlfriends seeing. Other concerns in the top five are internet search history, old photos, bank balance, and tellingly, cell phone mail.
It seems that while women are more concerned about keeping their private thoughts and undergarments out of sight, for men, having their Japanese girlfriends see their data is stressful.
What does this tell us about dating and relationships with Japanese girls or men? Perhaps there is no secret if your Japanese girlfriend or boyfriend refuses to allow you to see some of their stuff. Perhaps it’s just the national character. Even if these secrets may cause a few hiccups, many still want to meet Japanese friends.
Read the full survey here.
Photo by wedahmh